Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
