What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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