He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
