Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
