i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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