It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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