Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
