:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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