I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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