She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
