Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
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He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
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he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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