I accidentally burped into my bong.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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