there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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