the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
