This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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