My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
