Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
if i died would you start the facebook group?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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