Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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