she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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