still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
PANTIES FOUND
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
