were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
