but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
