I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
