i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
