So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We are two peas in an std pod
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
