if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
