So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
