Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
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Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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