I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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