you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Why is there bacon in the couch?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
