She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
