Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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