So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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