Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
