just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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