Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
