"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
