It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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