i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
