You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
