My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
