Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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