how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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