Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?

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(310): Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while? http://tfl.nu/my43

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(817): View more from Texas

Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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(817): Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have. http://tfl.nu/2nqb

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(718): View more from New York

"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.

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(718): "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut. http://tfl.nu/b4vo

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(214): View more from Texas

Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.

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(214): Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better. http://tfl.nu/wgom

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(+61): View more from Australia

When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.

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(+61): When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back. http://tfl.nu/58ah

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(910): View more from North Carolina

For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.

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(910): For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea. http://tfl.nu/uefs

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good

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(413): well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good http://tfl.nu/4dfc

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(845): View more from New York

all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed

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(845): all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed http://tfl.nu/tu27

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog

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(973): i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog http://tfl.nu/1yan

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(503): View more from Oregon

It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.

(541): View more from Oregon

I'm dying.

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(503): It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me. (541): I'm dying. http://tfl.nu/wgmh

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(818): View more from California

whose ass print is on the piano?

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(818): whose ass print is on the piano? http://tfl.nu/s2mm

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.

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(919): He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP. http://tfl.nu/0m9q

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(612): View more from Minnesota

her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode

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(612): her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode http://tfl.nu/ptvh

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?

(718): View more from New York

See you tonight.

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(201): Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning? (718): See you tonight. http://tfl.nu/wje2

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(863): View more from Florida

I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!

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(863): I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!! http://tfl.nu/52t4

Replies (8) Good night (233) Bad night (1075)

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