so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw