Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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