Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  dude i need help, im throwing up blood.

  (323): View more from California

  no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.

  (310): View more from California

  oh, so thats why my junks red.

  (323): View more from California

  wow. cant help you there...

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  (310): dude i need help, im throwing up blood. (323): no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up. (310): oh, so thats why my junks red. (323): wow. cant help you there... http://tfl.nu/yeir
  Replies (15) Good night (755) Bad night (1556)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Are you guys doing anything tonight?

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Krysta

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  (816): Are you guys doing anything tonight? (859): Krysta http://tfl.nu/28qy
  Replies (9) Good night (1975) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that

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  (413): his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that http://tfl.nu/fcpw
  Replies (6) Good night (625) Bad night (2189)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick

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  (804): quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick http://tfl.nu/5pdl
  Replies (7) Good night (4039) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.

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  (424): I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing. http://tfl.nu/4boy
  Replies (11) Good night (5615) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.

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  (518): I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon. http://tfl.nu/pj69
  Replies (9) Good night (1173) Bad night (3386)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.

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  (415): Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time. http://tfl.nu/wfi0
  Replies (5) Good night (2075) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.

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  (360): Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink. http://tfl.nu/zpxh
  Replies (8) Good night (766) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?

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  (714): There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed? http://tfl.nu/o0fs
  Replies (11) Good night (680) Bad night (1698)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.

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  (270): I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms. http://tfl.nu/29v1
  Replies (18) Good night (1037) Bad night (2590)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.

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  (281): And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways. http://tfl.nu/b6k4
  Replies (3) Good night (1263) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...

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  (321): I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward... http://tfl.nu/s7n4
  Replies (9) Good night (1208) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  May the one with the liver that just won't quit win

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  (843): May the one with the liver that just won't quit win http://tfl.nu/5sn2
  Replies (3) Good night (865) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol

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  (814): Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol http://tfl.nu/gohb
  Replies (5) Good night (805) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.

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  (901): he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there. http://tfl.nu/fd7u
  Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (233)

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