Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly

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(859): View more from Kentucky

i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"

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(361): View more from Texas

Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".

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(404): View more from Georgia

Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon

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(214): View more from Texas

Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.

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(305): View more from Florida

Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.

(407): View more from Florida

Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.

(305): View more from Florida

They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.

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(206): View more from Washington

If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.

(253): View more from Washington

Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??

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