Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
