Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
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What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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