Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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