Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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