If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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