It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
