i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize