oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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