Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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