Small penises have feelings too.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
