remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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