people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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