Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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