all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
