she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
