it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Terrible idea I love it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
